Rules For Married Happiness

I got my hands on another great read "They Said It" by William and Catherine Booth, founders of this great Salvation Army.  It is an easy read because there are so many chunks of wisdom in it in a variety of areas.  Many of their love letters are in print.  I admire the deep love and committment they shared.  The speech that William gave at Catherine's funeral in October 1890 is over the top, cry out loud.  She was so loved by him and she brought him honor and so much more.  What strikes me the most though is the full surrender that they continually made to God, despite the many challenges and obstacles they faced.  Catherine especially, who had the very unique calling of Williams beloved, mother to many children, and minister to the masses.  Below just a nugget of her practical wisdom:

                                                       

Rules for Married Happiness

"There were also certain rules which I formulated for my married life before I was married or even engaged.  I have carried them out ever since my wedding day, and the experience of all these years has abundantly demonstrated their value.

The first was, never have any secrets from my husband in anything that affected our mutual relationship or interests of the family.  The confidence of others in spiritual matters I did not consider as coming under this category, but as being the secrets of others, and therefore not my property.

The second rule was, never to have two purses,  thus avoiding even the temptation of having any secrets of a domestic character.

My third principle was that, in matters where there was any difference of opinion, I would show my husband my views and the reasons on which they were based, and try to convice in favour of my way of looking at the subject.  This generally resulted either in his being converted to my views or in my being converted to his, either result securing unity of thought and action.

My fourth rule was, in cases of difference of opinion, never to argue in the presence of the children.  I thought it better even to submit at the time to what I might consider to be a mistaken judgment, than to have a controversy before them.  But of course when such occasions arose I took the first opportunity for arguing the matter out.  My subsequent experience has abundantly proved to me the wisdom of this course."

-Catherine Booth during the early 1880's

Some Snippets and Words for Marriage

I do NOT know how to do half-way!  In fact that's why I'm having a hard time blogging lately.  There is so much more I want to share, but can't, or shouldn't,  or I don't have my act together, like on my Israel pictures, and can't share that either.  Ugh! Fruuuuustrating!  Not that I have any mysterious secrets or anything, just stuff that I know is not for "blog land".  Then I wonder... am I still being real and honest if I'm not laying it all out there? Thus my over-explaining habit.

So
instead
some
snippets
from the last couple of weeks.
The things I don't want to forget (or maybe I do!)

We spent a lot of extra time at the Church last week.  The kids love playing hide-n-go-seek in our building because it has so many nooks and crannies.  So, I'm in the Chapel working with a group of people, the front doors are locked and my kids are going crazy hiding and seeking.  All of a sudden I hear screaming and crying and here comes Hannah, hands down her pants, yelling "I hurt my v****a!" over and over again.  Oh my. 

At a Lion's Club meeting, Paul and I were sitting together with Mary.  One of the old friendly guys comes up to Paul to say "Wow, did you have another baby?" (We only go a couple times a year) "Don't you know what causes that?" he says.  (Like we haven't heard that question a MILLION times!) Pauls says "Nope, all I know is I go to bed at night and wake up with a smile on my face in the morning".  They laughed so hard, I was looking to crawl under the table.

We had some excitement a few days ago when an animal got into our garbage that was out on the curb.  Paul: likes to put it out 2 days early. Me: I like to run like a mad woman chasing down the garbage man as he drives past our house.  I'm only in charge when Paul's not here. 
When we woke up on Wednesday morning, the garbage was knocked over and there were dirty diapers, meat wrappers, toys and art papers strewn all over the street.  There was no way we could pretend it wasn't us.  The boys went to help some, the girls watched, and they were all complaining about the stuff they saw that I had thrown away (I played stupid... who me??).  Hannah was convinced a T-Rex got into it.  Ann was worried about the mess.  I knew my coffee was getting cold.  The boys worked on it until it was time to go to school.  They are such great little guys.  Paul cleaned up the rest, but we saved the stirofoam meat wrappers because it had big bite marks and teeth prints in it.  Very cool for us to study and try to figure out what kind of animal it was.  After some research, we concluded it was a skunk.  Except for Hannh who still insists it was a T-Rex.

For Sunbeams, Girl Guards and Moonbeams last night (Youth Activities) we did Pedicures.  It was so much fun!  I was so glad to have 4 other adult helpers between 18 children.  Paul did Adventure Corps with the boys (I think about 10) and they are engineering/building with popsicle sticks and hot glue.  I really, really, really love my "job"!

And  now... a thought... 
At CBS (Community Bible Study) this morning, I was given a prophetic word that convicted me and encouraged me to more diligently care for my husband and children before all others. I know from experience that when I am putting my energy into my family, it naturally spills over into my ministry and it is a beautiful flow.  And like I like to remind my darling hubby... and he tells me too... when I am caring for him, I am helping him be a better Officer(Minister).  We may not get any credit from our "powers that be" for that, but that doesn't make it any less important.  It just makes it more special because it's the stuff that only God sees and the one person that we are closest to in all the earth, our hubbies.

When I have it backwards, I am not at peace and we all suffer.  I have had it backwards the last 2 weeks, because of the demands of the moment that I had little control over.   I thank God for His filling-in-the-blanks and my happy, flexible children, but my hubby needs more of me. 

It is time to reign it in again!  Watch out!

I am passing this on to my readers because I know how great the struggle can be between honoring and blossoming in our God given roles as women and honoring our God given "addendum" roles as Salvation Army Officers, or your "fill in the blank" ministry, a. k.a. job. (for some women, the ministry is to work outside the home in order to bring in some extra bacon that you otherwise couldn't survive without)   What I'm saying is... pay attention to your marriage.  Do whatever it takes to form it into "one flesh".  Be of one mind, be a team, be entirely each other's.  This is the one human relationship that requires all of you, all the time.  Fruitful marriages come second only to creation.  It was God's first intention of mankind relating to each other. 

And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone,
I will make him an help meet for him.

-Genesis 2:18

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:

and they shall be one flesh.

-Genesis 2:24

and a quote I like...

Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.

--Euripedes Antigone

 
Thank you, Lord, for marriage!